How to Still Love Each Other

Aside

Double DaisyNo matter how many times you *think* you are communicating with your spouse, I guarantee he is not hearing what you are hearing. At least he is not comprehending it the way that you intended for it to be comprehended.

Take last night. My husband and I were sitting on the sofa, no computer, no distractions, and we were just talking. Conversation veered to the RE appointment (this AM), and that was the end of the good night.

He thought he had made it clear to me that he did NOT want to continue IUI’s, that he wanted to take a break for awhile.

I thought I had made it clear that I wanted to start up IUI’s right away, before my mild endometriosis returns and before my eggs and hormones get older.

It turned into a nightmare. He (never told me) that he hates the IUI and feels they are embarrassing and for some reason, he thinks that we can get pregnant on our own. (Yeah, I snarked out a few choice comments to THAT, alright).

He says I’m just baby crazy and that my quest for a child is changing our relationship. I agree with some aspects, but anytime I try to talk, I know that it’s going to turn into a blame game. I don’t WANT it turn into a blame game, but it will. And getting him to talk is like trying to leash train a cat. It’s a slow, painful process for all involved.

If he would just be willing to BD when we’d need to, I’d be ok. But that doesn’t just mean BD on ONE day during that week. I know he wants sex to be a spontaneous event, but that doesn’t work when TTC.

Honestly, I thought the IUI’s were better for our relationship because it took the pressure OFF of him.He just had to “perform” one day on command, and then he could go back to the way he ran things.

It’s so hard to love yourself, let alone your husband when TTC.

I’ve been trying to do more Dating Diva activities with him, and they sometimes work.

I think I’m going to do this Chocolate Tasting for him tomorrow night. A past one that we did was the book store date/scavenger hunt – he had fun, but I think it went on too long for him. I just need to find things for him that don’t require him to leave the house. He’s a bit of a home body, especially on a week night.

One thought on “How to Still Love Each Other

  1. This is like dejavu… I repeated the same 2 paragraphs to hubby and I said remember the time when we fought about ttc??? The fights we would have when we were having timed intercourse were not fun… Fighting and me crying doesn’t make for romance plus all the pressure of “needing” to have sex on specific days didn’t work for him and he didn’t understand the concept. Once we went to iuis it helped relieve the pressure on our sex life and marriage. Ttc sucks!!!! I wish I could get knocked up accidentally like some ppl. I think my hubby hoped that we could get pregnant naturally and that’s why he fought iuis in the beginning maybe ge thought it was partly his fault we couldnt get pregnant. You will get over this rough patch…

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