You Know You Are Infertile When…


TTCI smiled when I saw this on one of my TTC boards this morning.

So, it got me thinking about all the crazy things we do when we are diagnosed with infertility.

Feel free to add your own in the comments and I’ll edit this post add them in. 🙂



You Know You Are Infertile When…

  1. You have your RE’s personal cell phone number programmed on your phone.
  2. You start to recognize other couples at the andrology lab.
  3. You think 8 million sperm is a depressingly low number.
  4. You know more about statistics than a professional bookie.
  5. You sit and watch the pee line creep up the pregnancy test, waiting to see the second line.
  6. You come back ten minutes AFTER you confirmed a BFN just to make sure it’s still negative.
  7. You know more about ovulation and reproduction than a high school biology teacher.
  8. Everything becomes a pregnancy symptom.
  9. You forbid yourself from Google during your TWW.
  10. You’ve seen pictures of cervical mucus.
  11. You’ve skipped a party or event because you have a prior engagement in the bedroom.
  12. You know from which ovary you are ovulating from each month.
  13. You have no problem giving yourself a trigger shot.
  14. You’re on your period, yet you take x-rays at the dentist with two lead vests around your ovaries – just in case.
  15. You’ve seriously considered (or are already) using egg whites as lubricant*.
  16. You’ve tried at least two “quack” sciences trying to get pregnant.
  17. You wake up hoping to have symptoms of morning sickness.
  18. Friends and co-workers stop asking you how the baby making is going.
  19. You have emergency sub plans for your class just in case you have to make an emergency visit to the RE.
  20. Your husbands complains about having too much sex.
  21. You’ve had more than five people in the OB’s office with your legs in the stirrups.
  22. You’ve fallen asleep with your butt propped up on a pillow after you’ve had sex.
  23. You’ve been able to use the “I might be pregnant excuse” to get out of cleaning the cat’s litter box for the past four years.
  24. The Big O doesn’t mean the same thing as Orgasm anymore.
  25. You have pre-planned pregnancy announcements and photos.

2 thoughts on “You Know You Are Infertile When…

  1. OMG I was crying, I was laughing so hard reading these!!! I especially love the one about “hubs complains he’s having too much sex”! ONLY those TTC can fathom that!!!!

    How about:
    1. You have no problem POAS in a stall at work, just to make sure you aren’t missing an LH surge!
    2. You’re library collection at home has more “how to conceive” “how to deal when you can’t” and “how to take charge of your fertility” books than it has novels!

    Or really, that we are desperate enough to try ANYTHING that doesn’t sound lethal? We loose all skepticism …. Dong Quai? Yam supplements? Acupuncture, and laying with your feet up on the wall after BD’s for an hour, Hell why not if it’s worked for someone else! Nothing seems to be unorthodox or strange when ttc!

    I was reading a site about CM, and the author said “This might sound gross, and you don’t have to, but checking the consistency of your CM can help determine what stage of your cycle you are in”…..Gross?! Clearly this broad hasn’t been trying to conceive for long, because it become necessary at a certain point! lol

    Thanks for sharing and a much needed laugh!

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