I am *not* going to feel sorry for myself today. That isn’t to that that today is easy for me – it’s not. I’ve teared up already a few times, especially when GNR’s Sweet Child of Mine came on the radio station, though the tears may have more to do with the fact that I heard it on an oldies station.
So instead of thinking about the fact that I should be having a baby in 3.5 weeks (but whose counting?), I’m going to make a few resolutions for observation of this day when I do become a mother (not the positive thinking! when, not if).
- When I become a mother, I will remember, recognize, and celebrate those who aren’t. Perhaps a donation to RESOLVE or even Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. The Houston Area Women’s Shelter is also a prime candidate.
- I will not expect people to treat me any differently when I am a mother. There is nothing special about me. I should be honored as a human being, not because sperm met an egg.
- I will be thankful for my child(ren) and family (pets included!) who made me a mother. I will do something with them as a family. Go camping? A picnic? A giant water balloon fight? I don’t know, I’m not there yet, but I know that I will make it a day to celebrate my family.
- I will remember my lost daughter.
For today, I will be gentle on myself and try to practice simplicity, patience, and compassion for the next week.
“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching