Imagined Pregnancy Symptoms

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Damn this Countdown to Pregnancy site! It’s the cruelest thing ever. As it I wasn’t crazy enough already.

I have to remind myself that I’m not pregnant. I’m not.

However, I keep mistaking my impending AF cramps as a pregnancy sign. My lovable cat sitting on my lap has turned into cats-sensing-pregnancy-hormones phenomenon. I keep groping my breasts to see if they are tender. I take my pre-natals on an empty stomach and convince myself that I’m having morning sickness.

What is wrong with me?

I’m terrified to take a shower because I don’t know hot is TOO HOT. I refuse anything with shrimp or HFCS in it to avoid mercury.

I can’t stop clenching my teeth.

I had a dentist appointment on Thursday, and refused the x-ray in case I might be pregnant, and they told me they couldn’t even do a cleaning during the first trimester without a dr’s note! What??? I had my teeth cleaned in October when I was still in the first trimester. I don’t know what gives. New policy?

Oh dear God. Could a tooth cleaning have caused my NTD?

Stop it. No. Plenty of pregnant women have their teeth cleaned and everything is ok. It was just a fluke.

Fluke has become one of my dirty words lately.

I cannot get enough of San Pelligino’s Limonata. Yum. I’m thinking about buying it in bulk from Amazon since I drink it faster than I go to the grocery store.

Maybe I drink/eat too much lemon juice and that changes my pH balance and makes my cervical mucus hostile?

What is wrong with me?

If I could just pee on a stick, get my negative test, and move on, that would be one thing. But you don’t believe it until you actually get AF. Even then, I still don’t believe it. Last month, the cycle was so light that I continued to look up “pregnant while taking clomid” up to my ovulation on CD 15. Even then, I still thought about asking my RE if my cervix was closed, but thought the better of making myself look like an idiot and kept quiet.

I’m scheduled to start AF on Wednesday. I think I can make it to Thursday without testing. Even if I get a positive, it’s not like I’m going to be able to relax!

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6 thoughts on “Imagined Pregnancy Symptoms

  1. UGH I HATE THAT SITE! I used to be obsessed with it too. One time I started a thread about how I had a sore throat and it MUST be that I’m pregnant.

    Get. Off. GOOGLE.

    1. Everyone gets a teeth cleaning while pregnant. EVERYONE. Unless you go more than a year without cleaning your teeth.

    2. Your boobs hurt because you keep playing with them. Leave them alone.

    3. Hot water? Really?! No. No. No. No.

    4. What you eat or drink now makes no difference. You know this. Have a bottle of whiskey, it won’t matter. Way too early to actually do anything. I know some argue with this, but personally I don’t believe in not living your life during the 2WW.

    5. Cats are crazy.

    • I just interrupted my husband’s video game because I was howling with laughter over #2. I just about peed in my pants…

      Is that a sign of pregnancy? LOL!

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