1 in 10


I’m going to share my story with 1 in 10, a new blog about late term termination, but I just haven’t been able to write anything else down. It took a lot out of my to share my story with the Senate, get interviewed, keep up with everything on Twitter, and then have to face nasty comments on my blog.

I really think that I know why my last IUI didn’t work.

In any case, I feel the need to share my story, perhaps because I need justification. If anything, this whole debacle has taught me that:

A. People have no idea what an abortion is or how it is performed. They make assumptions based on what left or right winged news source they most closely identify with. I’m tired of being heralded as a brave feminist fighting for women’s rights. I’m tired of being accused of being a heartless, slutty, murderer. I’m neither of those things. I’m just a woman who did what was best for her family so that her daughter didn’t suffer.

B. People who can’t/won’t feel compassion for others will never be able to, even if tragedy befalls his or her own family. They either make personal exceptions or live in denial. Like my father.

C. I’m tired of people telling me that they know of a little kid with (insert disease/disability) here who is happy and healthy. You have no idea what life is like for that family or that child. You have no idea what it means to face $10,000 of medical bills. You have no idea what it’s like to have to figure out how, as the primary breadwinner of the family, pay for everything if you are going to bed ridden for four months.  You have no idea what it’s like to have to think about DNR orders for a baby. Even if you have been faced with similar situation, you have no idea about the details of my life, my situation, and what my daughter faced. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: your reality is not universal.

D. I’m tired of feeling like I’m not allowed to mourn the loss of my daughter since I “caused” it. I’m tired of people thinking they know what I went through because they had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. (Please don’t think I’m belittling those losses or saying that I went through MORE grief – they are just different).

E. I’m frustrated with people who think that six months is enough time for me to have “gotten over it”. Not a day goes by without me thinking about her, missing her, wondering what life would be like if we had CTT.

D. I’m tired of hearing about abortion regret and using that as a reason to limit abortion access. Sure, you hear about women who regretted their abortions, but you don’t hear about the women who regretted their children. It’s too monstrous to admit. Instead, they neglect their children, passing them off to other family members or just letting them raise themselves. Women with sick children often have to suffer in silence lest people think they want to currently kill their child. You can’t dictate laws because of regret. That’s not responsible.

Regretfully, I am 1 in 10.


2 thoughts on “1 in 10

  1. I agree with all, but number B really hit home! There are just those negative people who will NEVER see or feel compassion. They just don’t have it in them, and attempting to change them is pointless. It’s sad, but reality. Which is why abortion is such a hot topic. Those people will never be able to wrap their head around it.

    A funny picture was shared on FB this morning. A girl was at an abortion rally, holding up a sign that said “If abortion is murder, blow jobs are cannibalism.” I laughed 🙂

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