When I went to cancel my gym membership a few weeks ago, they offered me a token to keep my membership: an ONLINE membership where I can access training videos and all sorts of cool stuff in the webpage. I was hooked. I want to save my money right now, but I know that if I don’t get pregnant (or after I have a baby), I want to hire a personal trainer and this way, I can get my full membership back at any time without having to pay fees.
So today, I did a health assessment. Pretty standard stuff. I wasn;t worried – I do my health assessment every year at school and I’m infertile, so I know my blood work is all normal. I knew that there would be certain areas I was going to fail on – strength, stamina, and I’m underweight. I also have a bit of a muffin top, so I wasn’t expecting my body fat to be perfect. I was shocked when I got my results.
The way they measured this was by having me stand on a machine that sent waves of voodoo into my body and measured how long it took to get them back. Like bat radar. It takes longer to get the signals back in fat. Makes sense, right?
Well, I saw that my upper body was HIGH in fat content. Supposedly, 30% of my body is fat, and I only weigh 106 pounds. As I said, I have a muffin top, but I don’t think that you could consider my upper torso fat heavy, unless you consider my boobs.
I asked the trainer about that, and he said that boobs were already taken in consideration for women, since we tend to carry more in boobs and butt. But my boobs aren’t normal. I have monster boobs. Boobs that could destroy New York. I seriously doubt that the test accounts for 32DDD. How often does someone go into this test who is as disproportionate as me?
So yes, I’m a little bitter that my health score lost 8 points because of my fat content. Also, it was irritating to hear him say that I needed to get rid of the fat, but had to be careful so that I didn’t lose weight.
I think it’s a good sign that I’m more concerned (read: miffed) about fatty boobs than searching infertility + fat content, or infertility + underweight. I’m feel like I’m just rolling with the punches at this point.
I just googled 30% body fat, and it wasn’t the doom and gloom that I thought it was after talking with the trainer. After looking at pictures, I’d say that’s about right for me – maybe a 25%. I still think that my boobs skewed the test, though.
Bah. I have enough reasons to hate my body. I don’t need this to add to the list. I’m going to embrace the muffin top – at least for a few more weeks.