I Fail at Life


I don’t think so, but some random user on Pinterest thinks I do.

I was trolling around in the Popular board when I stumbled across a SomeEcard (or some variant thereof) that said something along the lines of “The only thing worse than your crying baby is you screaming at it to be quiet.”

Some people defended the mother in that situation, but one person in particular made a pretty inflamatory comment about how she hated babies which incited a bit of an argument. One woman, however, responded with this: there’s no real point to life except for procreating, sorry you fail at being human

I know it wasn’t meant for me, but it hurt. I responded with something like “I love kids. Wish I could have them. But there is more life than being a brood mare. But thanks for telling me I fail at being a human being.”

I don’t really care if it was meant for me. It was a public comment. I write this blog knowing full-well that mothers with children and babies with spina bifida might read my blog. I know that someone with SB might read my blog. I generally write this so that I don’t offend people. I don’t think that all fetuses with SB should be aborted.  I don’t think that all infertile couples should go through fertility treatments (and neither do I think that all should accept a childfree life). My comments have been specifically about MY life, MY situation, and the decision that I made. I don’t know your situation. I don’t live it. So I try not to judge.

Maybe I’m reacting so badly because I have felt this in the past (and sometimes still do). I wonder how many people really and truly think this – that my life is pointless because I can’t have children. And then it makes me angry.

Does that mean she thinks the only thing women are good for is raising babies?

Even if I were able to get pregnant and have a healthy baby, I’d still find that comment disgusting. I’m tired of the idea that pregnant women are somehow worth more than I am. That they are honored and treated with kid gloves.

But me? I’m infertile. I’m a waste of oxygen because I can’t breed.

Comments like that irritate me. I wish I liked the pin so that I could find it again, but maybe it’s best that I don’t go back to it.


3 thoughts on “I Fail at Life

  1. I could not feel more with you on this!! I volunteer, I raise money for cancer research, I’m my husbands rock, and yet I feel that my life is meaningless because I can’t join in on my friends “mommy club”.
    I think this is the exact reason I struggle with being okay childless….and its out right bs that we feel like this! That’s why I’m trying to venture to more child free blogs, to help reassure that a meaningful life doesn’t have to revolve around the ability to bare children.

  2. ARGH!!! I fucking hate comments like that. They are the worst. And I DO comment on them. I don’t comment on everything I see on FB, Twitter, Pinterest, but I WILL say something when people claim being a mother is all we are put on this earth to do. Nice. Not only is it majorly sexist, but people seem to forget not everyone has the ability to procreate.

  3. Some people are just dumb. I don’t think anyone’s validity as a human being should be defined by procreation. What is this- the 1920’s? Scary that there are people who even think this way. Screw them! I’m sure they aren’t half as interesting, smart and plain KICK ASS- as you are.

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