Already had one freak out!

Standard

So, I had a bit of a freak out on Monday. I went into my fertility portal and read my results from Friday’s baselines tests.

And they weren’t good.

Since I went to this clinic in 2011 for my very first IUI cycle, I can easily compare numbers, and this is what I got:

2011 AMH = .74
2014 AMH = .61

2011 FSH = 8.01
2013 FSH = 14.7

I flipped out. I started googling and had convinced myself that I wasn’t a candidate for IVF and that I needed to cancel my hysteroscopy on Monday. The nurse called me back that night, but it wasn’t enough, so the doctor called me on Tuesday himself, which I needed.

He told me not to freak out about to numbers and calmed me down with science, statistics, and compassion. (I tried to go with alliteration, but my brain isn’t working tonight.) He also gave me good news – my antral follicle count was higher than I thought – remember I said I had 8? Well that was just on one ovary. I actually had a total count of 15! So, that made me a little happier.

To be honest, I still don’t know what the hell I’ve gotten myself into. I only hallway understand what the numbers are, and I don’t even remotely understand what they MEAN, so I’m just trying to stay away from Dr. Google.

My h-scope is still scheduled for Monday, but I’m not too fussed about that – I don’t consider that real surgery, even though I’m getting anesthesia – I’m not getting cut. It’s not like my laparoscopy, and even that wasn’t anything to complain about (except I had a mild “outie” for a few months afterwards.)

DH is going to a urologist next week, so we’ll hopefully finally see what damage his disorder has causing (is causing?) to his swimmers. If you recall, sperm count was a concern for us (and one of the drugs he’s on is know for lowering numbers), but since we are doing IVF, we don’t need millions and millions. We just need enough to fertilize however many eggs I lay.

I can’t really keep secrets, so I’ve already spilled the beans to most people. What’s the worst that can come out of it? I have people cheering me on (I’m keeping the paranoid V. in the box – no one is giving me the evil eye, right?) and if I fail, I have a whole bunch of people who will go drinking with me!

Besides, my fertility problems have never been a secret with my friends. I know that in the beginning, it was hard to keep telling people each month that we failed, but I think most know the unspoken etiquette of being an infertile’s friend by this point.

I’m feeling all sorts of things at this post – hopeful, tired, scared, and even a bit reluctant, but I think all of those things are pretty normal after what I’ve experienced.

So, this is just a quick update, but I’m sure I’ll have more to write about in the near future.

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