While catching up on my blogs today, I found this post by dogsarentkids, and realized I didn’t have an about me section. I think that when I originally started this, I didn’t expect anyone to read it and I certainly didn’t expect to share it. So, I stole her FAQ questions and and am answering them here. Questions I’ve added I’ve put an asterisk next to.
How long have you been married?
It depends. We got married at the JP so DH could get his green card so we could afford a wedding, but we count June 27th 2009 as our anniversary.
How long did you TTC before you found out you were infertile?
We started right after we got married, and I think it was almost a year after that we started to get tested by the OB. I got my blood work done (all normal), and a HSG (all normal) and we had a semen analysis. Normal. It then took us a few months to actually get to a reproductive endocrinologist.
*When did you have your abortion and why?
I stopped my daughter’s heartbeat on January 2nd 2013, and we had the actual abortion on January 4th. I had a D&E (dilation and evacuation) since I was 18 weeks. We discovered at the gender ultrasound that she had birth defects and felt that while they weren’t terminal, it was not ethical or responsible to continue to term.
What methods have you tried to get pregnant?
We’ve used Preseed (otherwise known as Happy Swimmers in this household) and IUI’s. I’ve also used Circle + Bloom meditation tapes. We have tried every position possible in order to conceive. We have also tried IVF. My first stim cycle was 300 Menopus/300Gonal-f. My second stim cycle was 600 Menopur and Human Growth Hormone.
Will you consider adoption?
Probably not. DH is against it.
What about foster care?
Probably not. DH is against it.
*What about donor eggs?
Probably not. DH is against it, but we have a few eyars to decide on this one. My clinic’s cut off for accepting donor eggs is 55.
Why “Of Mice and Men”?
It’s from the poem by Robert Burns. It really spoke to me – the destruction of plans, the depair over the past, and the worry about the future. It just fits my entire TTC journey.
Any advice for people just starting to TTC?
TTC for three months is not considered infertility. Don’t join infertility communities for the sole purpose of announcing a BFP (we call them drive by’s). It’s always easier to be positive about other people infertility than your own.
Are you still TTC?
Yes. We are going to TTT until October 2013 and then we are going to look at our options. I don’t know. We’ve been through a lot. If ART isn’t successful, then I think I’m going to go back on birth control. I’m tired of feeling like failure each month. I can’t move on with my life if I am still actively TTC.
Do you plan to get infertility treatments?
We currently do IUI’s, and I haven’t gotten pregnant before from them, but if we don’t have a healthy pregnancy by October, we are going to look at IVF, though I think that all we are going to do is look at it. We have already spent too much money on IF. As of 6/2014, I think we are going to try for one more stim cycle to see if we can get a healthy embryo to transfer.
Why so negative?
It’s a lot of money to spend for nothing. It’s an expensive gamble – I already feel a huge amount of guilt for the money we have already spent – 4570 just on IUI’s alone – that’s not counting doctor visits, surgeries, medication, the ob appointments, or the termination. I don’t think I could live with the guilt if we did IVF and I had nothing to show for it. Also, I worry that my husband might resent me. So, while I try to be positive, there is a lot to worry about. Thanks for bringing it up.
What testing have you had done?
Sperm analysis, HSG, laproscopy, blood work, hysteroscopy, post-coital test.
Is it you or DH?
Both. I have mild endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, and unexplained infertility. DH supposed has low/normal sperm count. Update – I also officially have diminished ovarian reserve.
Does anyone in your personal life know you suffer from infertility?
I think just about everyone – or else they think we have lazy sex. They all know we’re wanting kids “one of these days.” When you’ve been doing it a for a few years, everyone knows eventually to stop asking how the “baby making” is going.
*Does anyone in your personal life about your abortion?
Actually, yes. I think there are a few people that I haven’t told, but I would say that most people know.